# 7 Effective Strategies to Reduce Dependence on External Validation
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Chapter 1: Understanding External Validation
Feeling a constant need for approval from others can be a significant personal challenge, and it's something I’ve come to recognize in myself. Over the past few months, as anxiety and depression crept in, my reliance on others' validation intensified. I frequently sought reassurance about my decisions, relationships, and even my appearance. If the feedback I received was not what I wanted, I would respond with undue sensitivity. At the time, I didn't realize how problematic this behavior had become; I thought it was just a part of my personality. However, a wake-up call came when close friends pointed out that my dependency on others' opinions was an issue.
This realization prompted me to take action. My fixation on external validation negatively affected my relationships with both others and myself, exacerbating my anxiety and self-doubt. I felt increasingly incapable of trusting my own judgment. Acknowledging that changing these long-standing behavioral patterns is challenging is crucial, but it's a necessary journey. I've come to understand that many of us seek validation due to a lack of it in our upbringing or due to low self-esteem and confidence. It's natural to desire approval; however, when that need becomes overwhelming, it's time to reassess.
Therapy, journaling, and self-reflection have been instrumental in my journey toward self-acceptance. Here are seven strategies to help you reduce the need for external validation in your life.
Section 1.1: Cultivate Self-Trust
Building self-trust enhances your decision-making abilities and boosts your confidence, which in turn diminishes the need for external approval. To foster this trust, start making decisions independently. If you often rely on others for guidance due to indecisiveness, it's time to embrace a more assertive version of yourself. Take charge of your choices. While not every decision will be perfect, each one is an opportunity for growth and self-discovery.
Additionally, focus on your strengths. Everyone possesses unique talents—what are yours? You may excel at cooking, sports, or writing. Embrace and develop these skills. Acknowledging your strengths can significantly enhance your self-confidence.
Section 1.2: Invest in Self-Development
Self-improvement can take many forms, depending on your personality. Prioritize both your physical and mental health by engaging in activities like exercising, practicing yoga, or journaling. Taking time to care for yourself can lead to greater self-appreciation and enhance your self-esteem. Treat yourself with the same care you would offer to someone you love. By being mindful of your well-being, you’ll find that your need for external validation decreases.
Section 1.3: Avoid Comparisons
In today's world, it's all too easy to compare ourselves with others, especially those we don't even know. Social media can exacerbate this tendency, presenting a distorted image of perfection—flawless bodies, luxurious lifestyles, and seemingly perfect relationships. Such comparisons can lead to feelings of inadequacy and unhappiness. Recognize the futility of comparing your life to others and take steps to limit your social media consumption. Celebrate your own achievements, however small, and write a letter to yourself to acknowledge your progress.
Chapter 2: Acknowledging Your Achievements
The first video, "Build Self-Esteem, Stop Seeking External Validation and Level Up," explores how to cultivate self-worth and reduce reliance on others' opinions.
Section 2.1: Celebrate Your Successes
It's essential to recognize and celebrate your accomplishments. Reflecting on my own journey, I've achieved several milestones since 2016, yet I seldom took the time to acknowledge them. After graduating with a master's degree in creative writing, I realized I hadn’t allowed myself to feel proud of my hard work. To counter this, I've started keeping an "I did" list at the end of each week, documenting my successes, both big and small. This practice has made it easier to appreciate my efforts and progress.
Section 2.2: Recognize Your Worth
Understanding your worth should not be a complex endeavor. You are unique, and you deserve good things in life. Start by establishing boundaries—learn to say no and prioritize your needs. Respecting yourself is a vital step in acknowledging your worth.
Section 2.3: Embrace Solitude
Explore new activities on your own. Many people feel uncomfortable being alone, fearing judgment from others. However, learning to enjoy your own company is crucial for developing independence from external validation. Challenge yourself to try activities solo, such as dining out, attending classes, or even traveling alone. You'll likely discover newfound confidence in your ability to enjoy life without relying on others.
Section 2.4: Practice Healthy Selfishness
Finally, remember that being a little selfish can be beneficial. Understanding and prioritizing your own needs will help you find healthier ways to cope with life's challenges. By valuing yourself, you will gradually diminish the need for external validation.
In conclusion, these seven strategies can help you reduce your dependence on external validation. If you found this article helpful, feel free to leave a comment or reach out to me at [email protected]! Your support, whether through comments or by buying me a coffee, would be greatly appreciated!
The second video, "How to VALIDATE YOURSELF | Stop Seeking External Validation, Grow Your Self-Worth and Level Up!" delves into self-acceptance and self-worth strategies.