The Endless Journey of Self-Improvement: My Personal Insights
Written on
Chapter 1: The Burden of Perfectionism
I grew weary of the constant stream of tips, tricks, and hacks aimed at reshaping my past. After some deep reflection, I realized that this was an endless quest for an ideal mindset or foundation, one that often hindered true progress. My journey toward self-improvement began during my high school years, specifically from grades 9 to 12. I started recognizing the ambitions I had for my future career and the aspirations I cherished that seemed "profitable." This sparked an obsession with videos on entrepreneurship and personal development, leading me to explore one after another.
I immersed myself in content about fashion, routines, and motivation, even buying books that promised to help me attain more of what I wanted. I tried every tip I came across—taking cold showers, waking up early, enhancing my diet, maintaining a journal, and meditating. I explored numerous productivity apps, from to-do lists to time management tools, always hoping that the next piece of advice would contain the magical phrase that would transform my life. I was searching for something that would resonate with me and finally provide the clarity I needed to become the best version of myself.
Section 1.1: The Temporary Highs of Learning
After finishing a book, I often felt a surge of confidence, believing I had finally adopted the right mindset for improving my life. However, this feeling was usually fleeting. I would find myself returning to YouTube or purchasing yet another book, searching for a more profound answer, convinced that the last one had failed to turn me into a "productivity master" overnight. I was caught in a cycle of seeking quick fixes, trying to trick my brain into being productive while slowly realizing I was just conditioning myself to rely on these strategies.
Subsection 1.1.1: The Realizations of Growth
However, before diving deeper into the downsides, I want to clarify that I'm not against self-improvement. Over the last four years, I've genuinely evolved into a better person, cultivating positive habits while discarding harmful ones. My academic performance improved, and I achieved many things that my past self would have been too preoccupied with gaming to pursue. While I'm proud of my progress, I recognize that it has only amounted to about 30-40% of what I aspired to achieve, not the tenfold transformation promised by various self-help narratives.
Section 1.2: The Illusion of External Validation
I learned that many of my goals were deeply rooted in a desire for external validation—seeking approval from friends and family. This included landing a better job, dating, and appearing successful. I was motivated not by the intrinsic value of these achievements, but by the attention and compliments they would bring. I realized that my self-worth should not be reliant on anyone else.
Chapter 2: Embracing Authentic Growth
Consequently, I decided to shift my focus from enhancing my persona to pursuing genuine accomplishments that benefit me. I stopped searching for the perfect mindset to rewrite my narrative. The truth is, I never found it, and I never will because it simply doesn’t exist.