Chapter 1: The Power of a To-Do List

There's a unique satisfaction in crafting a to-do list. The anticipation of completing tasks can be uplifting. The real joy comes when you start marking items off, one after another.

In addition to my physical list, I maintain a mental checklist. It often includes reminders like: leave early to refuel the car, find time to meditate, cut down on carbs today, remind my son about his doctor’s appointment, and stop at the grocery store for salad ingredients.

While lists are useful for maximizing limited time, they can also become overwhelming. With every task completed, another seems to emerge in its place. If left unchecked, this relentless cycle of productivity can become oppressive. A line from Denzel Washington in "The Great Debaters" resonates with me: "Do what you gotta do so you can do what you wanna do." After years of living by my lists, everything began to feel like a chore rather than a choice. The challenge lies in differentiating between the essentials and those tasks that can be postponed or entirely skipped.

This struggle is particularly pronounced for me as a Type A overachiever. My learned behavior from childhood trauma is to stay busy, avoiding deeper thoughts or feelings. While it's satisfying to lay my head down at night knowing I achieved a lot, this relentless pursuit of accomplishment often lacks joy, creativity, and peace. The pressure of my lists had me spiraling towards burnout, leaving me feeling uninspired at work, plagued by tension headaches, and finding no enjoyment in activities that once brought me happiness.

One potential remedy is to completely disconnect, but I’m not suggesting anything drastic like substance abuse. A vacation—ideally one without electronics, in a warm place with ample unscheduled time—could be ideal. Unfortunately, this year, a getaway isn't feasible financially. However, all isn't lost; a bit of flexibility can go a long way.

Just as engineers design buildings to be flexible in the face of disasters, we too can incorporate some adaptability into our lives, preventing stress from overwhelming us. By seeking moments of grace, we can relieve some of the pressure we place on ourselves.

Last week, I had such an opportunity. My favorite exercise is a brisk walk outdoors, but the sweltering humidity and rain had kept me indoors for too long. That Sunday night, I checked the weather: Monday promised no rain. I went to sleep determined to enjoy a walk at Jones Beach before starting my workday.

Monday arrived, and I was tired from a restless night. I faced a leaking air conditioner, a mountain of emails, and laundry that needed organizing. My instinct, honed over years, was to abandon my plan and tackle my "gotta-dos." However, remembering I was working from home—so I could skip the shower—I decided to stick to my commitment. I promised myself I would walk and shower during my lunch break.

At 7 a.m., the boardwalk was a peaceful retreat. I inhaled the salty air and felt a gentle breeze on my skin. What would soon be bustling with people was now a tranquil stretch of weathered wood, occasionally graced by a passerby or cyclist. The overcast sky glowed softly as the sun peeked through the clouds. The only sounds were birds chirping and waves crashing, along with the rhythm of my footsteps echoing: I am safe; I am home; I am loved. I am worthy.

After an hour and four miles, I returned to my car feeling rejuvenated. By 9 a.m., I was back at my desk, ready to tackle my work. I showered during my break, and as the day unfolded, I noticed a significant change. I could cross things off my list without even completing them, realizing that some tasks could wait. My mind felt clearer and more open. I allowed myself short breaks, read a book in the sun for ten minutes, and prepared a delicious lunch. I felt less hurried, embracing a gentler version of myself. The small act of prioritizing what I wanted over what I had to do created a ripple of positivity throughout my day.

While I wish I could claim a permanent transformation, growth is rarely linear. I often find myself slipping back into old habits. Just yesterday afternoon, I noticed I had fallen into a cycle of constant doing, and it was a Sunday. Recognizing this, I paused and considered my choices.

The weather was stunning, with no humidity—an unusual treat for a Long Island July. I realized I hadn’t spent much time in my beautiful backyard sanctuary, which I had worked hard to create. So, I grabbed my Kindle, an ice-cold beer, and a bowl of popcorn, treating myself to a mini happy hour.

In that moment, I could have been on a beach in Bali. The effect was similar. The warmth of the afternoon sun enveloped me, and I listened to the soothing sound of the breeze rustling through the leaves. I finally found relief from the pressure of my to-do list. The flatness that had shadowed me for weeks dissipated, replaced by a reassuring sense of well-being.

By allowing myself to engage in what I wanted to do without feeling burdened by everything I had to do, I reclaimed my place at the top of my own list.

Chapter 2: Embracing Moments of Grace

The first video, "Beating Burnout," explores practical strategies to alleviate feelings of burnout and prioritize self-care. It emphasizes the importance of recognizing your limits and finding joy in small moments.

The second video, "Burned Out? Spiritually," featuring Mike Novotny, discusses the spiritual aspects of burnout and encourages viewers to reconnect with their inner selves for healing and rejuvenation.