Chapter 1: The Power of Reflection

The mirror reveals more than just your reflection.

Life constantly mirrors your mindset. Created by Author Jonesy using Bing AI Image Creator.

I often think back to my father, who has since passed away. We never truly engaged in deep conversations, nor did he share any life-altering wisdom, much like the fathers depicted on television. However, one phrase he frequently repeated whenever I strayed from the right path was, "You need to look in the mirror, kid."

At the time, his words irritated me, but now I understand. He was subtly indicating that I am the architect of my outcomes. If I desire change, I must look within myself to initiate it.

Examine your surroundings. The disarray in your home, the disorder in your daily schedule, and the relationships you maintain—these all reflect your internal thoughts and wishes, both recognized and unrecognized. Life may seem like an unpredictable series of events, with progress often followed by setbacks.

Yet, the reality is that you possess everything you need. This is because your deeper, often concealed desires shape your actions (or lack thereof). Even mistakes come with their own advantages.

We all have conscious aspirations—those things we think we want. Typically, these revolve around wealth, success, or love. However, we often undermine our efforts to attain them. Why is that? It's due to our unconscious desires—those hidden wants we might not even be aware of. These secondary benefits can keep us tethered to our current situations.

Have you ever questioned why you procrastinate on significant tasks, such as writing? Or why a loved one struggles to shed unhealthy weight? The answers lie in these hidden advantages.

These subconscious desires govern our choices.

Take, for instance, the pursuit of financial success. While you may consciously desire it, fear of failure can prevent you from taking necessary actions. Here, the secondary benefit is the avoidance of potential failure (staying within your comfort zone). This unconscious urge to dodge failure can overshadow your conscious wish for financial prosperity. Essentially, you may be sabotaging your own success!

Our results often provide insights into our subconscious desires.

There are indicators of your unconscious mind all around you. Created by Author Jonesy using Bing AI Image Creator.

For instance, a cluttered home might signify an overwhelmed mind or unresolved trauma. My mother, a hoarder, often displayed anger, a classic response to trauma. Her tumultuous life may have led her to accumulate items as a means of exerting control, burying herself in possessions she couldn’t have in her youth.

The benefit? A false sense of control. The reality? Chaos.

Another less obvious sign is busyness. Engaging in numerous activities rather than being productive can serve as an escape from personal challenges. Personally, overcommitting my schedule allows me to avoid social interactions. Having battled social anxiety throughout my life, I can justify my isolation by claiming I have no time for socializing. Thus, my secondary benefit of a packed agenda is the evasion of anxiety, even though I truly desire companionship.

Your external environment offers clues to your internal state.

The mirror, both literal and figurative, reveals the truth. By examining closely, you can discern the underlying patterns of your life. While this can be challenging, investing time and effort into self-discovery is invaluable. What secondary benefits are you experiencing?

Understanding these benefits requires honest self-reflection. Ask yourself: What do I gain from my current situation? There’s always something to be gained. What fears or beliefs might be hindering my progress? How do my actions cater to my unconscious desires?

Recognizing these hidden benefits can lead to significant life changes. By identifying the real motivations behind your actions, you can address root causes instead of merely treating symptoms.

Here are my four cents:

1. Schedule Regular Mental Check-Ins: Dedicate time for reflection. Journaling can be a powerful tool for digging deep into your thoughts. There's magic in the act of writing.
2. Observe Your Environment: What does it reveal about your mental state? A tidy space may indicate clarity, while a chaotic room could signify unresolved issues. Also, take a look at your finances; your relationship with money is often laid bare.
3. Identify Fears Influencing Your Actions: What are you avoiding, and why? Confronting these fears can help align your behavior with your true desires.
4. Seek Support: Sometimes, connecting with others can illuminate your path. Therapists and coaches can offer valuable perspectives and strategies for change. I've benefited greatly from my coaches, who helped me uncover blind spots.

Reflection, Reflection, Reflection

The mirror indeed holds the truth. Look beyond the surface of what you think you know. Analyze your external environment.

Clarifying your unconscious desires and recognizing the secondary benefits of your actions can be empowering. This awareness can guide you to make intentional choices that align with the life you aspire to lead.

You're welcome.

Thank you for taking the time to read. I’m Jonesy, an artist, writer, and mother. If you found this useful, consider subscribing for updates. You can also support my creative endeavors by buying me a coffee—it's essentially an iPad fund for my work.

Chapter 2: The Inner Journey

In this SuperSoul Sunday episode, Oprah Winfrey shares profound insights about the concept that you already possess everything you need within you. This video encourages viewers to recognize their intrinsic worth and potential, highlighting the importance of self-reflection and understanding one's true desires.

This motivational video emphasizes that everything you seek resides within you. It inspires viewers to tap into their inner strength and wisdom, encouraging a journey of self-discovery and empowerment.