Creating Resilience: A Pathway to Lasting Fulfillment
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Understanding the Inner Critic
We’ve all experienced those moments of harsh self-criticism:
- "You can't handle this."
- "This isn't sufficient."
- "You're making mistakes."
At some point, every adult has engaged in this type of negative self-talk. During the rare, quiet times when my kids are asleep and I find a moment at my desk, I often feel like there's an unyielding critic echoing in my mind.
I’m no expert in psychology or neuroscience, but if I were to chart my happiness over the span of a year, it would undoubtedly resemble a rugged mountain landscape, filled with ups and downs. As a mother in her thirties, managing the joys and challenges of family life and entrepreneurship, I have come to realize that happiness is transient — and that’s perfectly acceptable.
Happiness is Evaporative
It ebbs and flows with life’s many ups and downs. Yet, we frequently become so preoccupied with what we perceive to be missing that we end up feeling lost. Helen Keller once said, “When one door of happiness closes, another opens; but we look so long at the closed door that we do not see the one which has been opened for us.”
To me, a life filled with fulfillment isn't about a lack of challenges, obstacles, or setbacks; it's about not allowing these difficult times to dictate my choices. My daily goal is to cultivate resilience — to look upward, try again, and keep moving forward. Admittedly, some days will be tougher than others, but the focus is not on achieving perfection; it’s about fostering perseverance, self-growth, and reflection.
Fostering Resilience in Daily Life
When we neglect these practices, the minor stresses of everyday life can accumulate and gradually wear us down. Embracing enduring strength allows joy to naturally follow. As a mother, I strive to exemplify this mindset for my children.
Just the other day, while they were playing, my daughter’s favorite stuffed toy, a snowy owl, lost a wing. The sight of it brought her to tears, and her brother joined her in sympathy. I quickly fetched her little doctor's kit, examined the toy, and we concluded that it needed stitches. I then attempted to sew the wing back on, albeit clumsily.
They were utterly absorbed in this activity and soon began to role-play as doctor and patient with other toys. I hope that this shift in focus helps them realize that facing challenges is a natural part of life — one that can be conquered.
Legacy of Resilience
Ultimately, I wish to impart to my children the understanding that happiness, self-worth, and fulfillment are byproducts of resilience. The legacy I aspire to leave is not a life free from challenges but the strength to navigate and overcome them.
To create a fulfilling existence, we must embrace discomfort and actively work towards finding joy in our journeys, aiming to experience more peaks than valleys while maintaining an overall higher altitude throughout our lives.
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