Chapter 1: The Challenge of Change

For someone who thrives on routine, change can be quite challenging. The adage "expect the unexpected" is not a mantra I embrace; rather, I wish for predictability in my daily life. A consistent routine brings structure amidst uncertainty and calms my anxious mind. Having dealt with anxiety for most of my life, I find comfort in familiar patterns. While I occasionally mix things up for improvement, I prefer having established rituals in my day-to-day activities.

Enter chronic illness, particularly Crohn's disease. Along with other conditions like Ehlers-Danlos syndrome and POTS, Crohn's has been my primary focus in this narrative. The unpredictability of Crohn's, especially during flare-ups, complicates my life significantly. I never know how I will feel from one day to the next.

There are days when I go to bed feeling well, only to wake up the next morning overwhelmed by symptoms that leave me drained. (The fatigue associated with Crohn's can be debilitating.) My levels of pain and energy can shift dramatically, transforming tasks that were manageable just days ago into insurmountable challenges. This inconsistency makes planning difficult and forces me to adopt a more flexible mindset to cope with the circumstances imposed by my illness.

Chapter 2: Lessons from the Flare-Up

Since January, I have been dealing with a persistent flare-up, and my journey to find the right medications and treatments has been gradual. I was only diagnosed with Crohn's in April, which has led to significant self-discovery. In many ways, I am thankful for the lessons Crohn's has imparted. I've realized that I can manage more than I initially believed, especially once I understand the challenges I face. Adaptability has become essential, even if it is sometimes hard to embrace.

Finding positivity amid adversity has become my focus; I've learned to appreciate the small joys that persist despite the hardships. This may involve reshaping my plans to accommodate my condition—whether that means rescheduling appointments or discovering alternative methods to engage in activities that allow me to feel in control.

While my situation may not be ideal, it's important to acknowledge that few people lead perfectly ideal lives. We must strive to make the most of our circumstances, and that is what I am endeavoring to do.

The presence of chronic illness can create a sense of chaos. I recognize that this feeling is often unavoidable, but there are always aspects of each day that remain within our control, even when symptoms threaten to dominate our experience. It may only be a small aspect, but exercising agency over those elements is crucial.

We should not overlook the minor details that contribute to our daily lives; they can become small but significant sources of joy. These might be simple yet meaningful—reminders that even during difficult times, there is still much to cherish.

This focus can evolve into a new type of routine: the practice of appreciating life's simple comforts. This strategy can be particularly helpful when conventional routines and detailed planning feel out of reach.

A soothing ritual, such as enjoying a cup of tea while reading a few pages of a favorite book, can provide solace during challenging times. These small pleasures, often taken for granted in moments of good health, become vital lifelines in the face of flare-ups. They serve to reconnect me with a sense of normalcy when life feels disordered.

While it may seem trivial to emphasize such basic activities, finding beauty in the mundane is essential when managing a chronic illness. When forced to slow down and forgo more dynamic pursuits, I often discover that appreciating simpler joys can elevate my mood.

Instead of dwelling on what I cannot do, I aim to shift my focus toward what remains accessible and fulfilling. Although this approach isn't foolproof, it tends to uplift my spirits more than lamenting over lost opportunities. My commitment to focusing on the little things during this flare-up is resolute.

During stressful periods, many find therapy beneficial for navigating tough situations. I agree that therapy can provide invaluable insights, especially when addressing practical solutions to our challenges. However, we must also recognize the importance of taking quiet moments for self-care in the simplest ways. Self-love and well-being come in various forms.

One day, I hope to experience relief from my symptoms and reintegrate more of my routines, allowing me to plan further ahead. My life will regain its fullness, and I will have renewed energy for the activities I enjoy.

For now, I choose to honor my current state—acknowledging the progress I have made since my diagnosis. And that, in itself, is enough.