Finding Your Voice: A Journey Through Music and Self-Expression
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Chapter 1: The Power of Music
Music has always been an integral part of my life, a passion that ignited during my childhood. I can still picture myself singing Ace of Base's "I See the Sign" in the backseat of the car, my cousin's astonished face only fueling my desire to perform. That early affirmation deepened my love for music, a flame that continues to burn brightly today.
In my formative years, my musical tastes were shaped by what my parents enjoyed—pop, classic rock, alternative, 80's hair bands, and country music. However, high school opened doors to a myriad of new genres, including metal, punk, folk, and electronica. It was then that I discovered my community and soon embraced my identity as a metal vocalist.
Recently, while scrolling through TikTok, I stumbled upon a video featuring a metal vocalist who suggested that the ability to scream or growl in metal music often stems from exposure to such sounds during childhood. Initially, I brushed this idea aside; my upbringing lacked the screaming typical of that genre. My parents rarely raised their voices—just a certain tone was enough to get my attention.
After some time reflecting on that TikTok clip, I experienced a breakthrough during a conversation with a friend about musical influences. Thoughts flooded my mind about the songs I cherished as a child, how my tastes evolved in high school, and how my life might have unfolded differently had I stuck to more mainstream music. Suddenly, the answer to a lingering question emerged: "Why do I feel such freedom in expressing myself through screaming in my music?"
The answer was simple yet profound: to have a voice. To be heard.
This insight led me to a greater understanding of how my emotions manifest in my behavior. A common observation from my friends is that I tend to mumble. I apologize for resisting their advice for so long; I now recognize my tendency to mumble.
Understanding my vocal patterns has been enlightening:
- When calm, I mumble and often need to repeat myself.
- When excited, I speak too quickly and may not be understood.
- When angry, my speech becomes clear and assertive, commanding attention.
I prefer writing over speaking because, in written form, I know I will be heard.
Section 1.1: Clarity in Expression
I've spent much of my life feeling overlooked and misinterpreted, a struggle compounded by my anxiety, undiagnosed ADHD, and gender dysphoria. Often, I would let things go to maintain harmony until frustration turned me into the unexpectedly assertive person, leaving others bewildered.
This newfound self-awareness is prompting me to reassess how I approach communication, especially as I prepare content for my podcast and YouTube. I realized that I tend to speak slowly and take frequent pauses to gather my thoughts.
Reflecting on this slow speech reminds me of my early twenties when I delved deeply into Buddhism, striving for mindful communication. Yet, in today’s fast-paced world, where attention spans are dwindling, people crave concise, engaging content.
The beauty of technology lies in editing. I can easily trim pauses, enhance volume, and re-record unclear parts. However, such control doesn’t translate to real-life conversations where I must navigate my thoughts in real-time.
The first video titled "How Can I Know That It's Actually God's Voice?" explores the nuances of recognizing authentic voice in communication.
Section 1.2: The Vocal Minority
Consider the overwhelming news stories we encounter, often filled with divisive narratives. It's typically the most vocal minority within each group that captures the spotlight.
They command attention simply by being the loudest voices in the room. I refuse to be that person who resorts to shouting for recognition.
My journey involves balancing my introspective nature with the fast-paced demands of modern life—finding confidence without aggression and expressing myself clearly without overwhelming those around me. My goal is to cultivate a presence that captivates without the need for volume.
Nonetheless, I’m learning to crank up my expression when necessary.
The second video "God Said 'IT'S IN YOUR VOICE!'" dives into the significance of personal expression and the inherent power in our voices.
Much love.
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